The continual quest to meet the elusive “ONE” has been made so much simpler for us through online dating. Gone are the days when a suitor would rock up at your parent’s door and ask them if they could take you out on a date, which in those times meant a pot of tea and a walk around the park.

Whether you yourself are on them, you know someone on them or have met someone through them, on some level we all know these dating sites exist and are helping people all over the world to get laid. Some of them are designed more consciously for making connections with potential partners and some of them are just for “hooking up” with people for a night (or hour) of sexual indulgence. Regardless, meeting someone new whether it be the first date or the first intense conversation about “where is this casual dating going,” from my experience, there is some inner turmoil and stress involved.

Over the last 5 years I have been on and off these dating sites and have had to dose myself up on many herbs and herbal products just to be able to cope with the rejection of liking someone and it not being reciprocated, the nervousness of going on a blind date or simply the anxiety that you feel when you are constantly on your phone wanting to banter and engage and no one is up for it. So, I have decided to put together a herbal toolkit for the online dater as there are so many possible products that one could use in order to support these anxious, horny and rejected feelings you go through and also ones to enhance the pleasure when you do actually get to snag someone for an intimate adventure.


I use this pretty much every time I go out, whether it be on a date or not, but for dating it takes the edge off the nervousness, balances me out and makes me feel empowered. It also has herbs in it that create a sensual feeling in my body so I use some of it before I meet someone and then quickly go to the bathroom and scull half a bottle when I know there is a more of a mutual attraction (wouldn’t want to waste it on a meh date)

Ingredients: Damiana, Muira Puama, Siberian Ginseng, Ashwaganda, Maca, Tribulus, Mucuna, Liquorice, Ginkgo Biloba, Horny Goat Weed, Vanilla

Midnight Desire
This Damiana liqueur has been my saving grace for years now as far as pumping up my libido before and during intimacy. Personally, this is my “Viagra!” A shared bottle of this during the night with a lover and I am feeling lots of sensations and a desire to connect that I only feel when I have this. It’s the potent Damiana in this which is a strong aphrodisiac for women and men but especially women so save this one for the ones that will go the distance! (contact your local Happy Herb Shops for this one)

Evolve Lubricant
No matter what age you are, there are times when you just need a bit of a helping hand with the dryness aspect of love making, especially in those initial stages where intimacy is really awkward because you don’t know them well enough. I highly recommend Lariese Evolve lubricants. It is a smooth, sensual, certified organic, water soluble lubricant that is actually created with healthy, EDIBLE, yes edible ingredients. Let’s hope you get the adventurous date that wants to lick you all over and eat you for desert!!


A great product to carry with you, a bit like Rescue Remedy but with more herbs infused in it. It is great for a quick fix when you are feeling anxious or stressed about something, in this case those bloody first date jitters and all that crazy self-talk “what if he doesn’t like me,” “I hope he likes kids,” “when should I tell her I dress in women’s clothing?”

OMG I have squirted so much of this stuff into my mouth to calm my nerves before dates. I don’t even know why I get nervous, must be that initial fear that they’ll have 2 heads or something but thankfully these things work on an energetic and chemical level to balance out the butterflies.

Spirit Plants – Hops
This tincture is made as a potent botanical extract. Hops can be very useful in easing nervous tension and anxiety. It relaxes the nervous system and can aid sleep, especially when combined with the herb valerian. A few drops before the date and you’ll be the coolest cat on the block instead of the sweatiest skink.

Magic Mix’s Love Bubble
So many good things to say about this product. It uplifts the mood, opens the heart, relaxes the body, calms the mind and brings feelings of love, bliss and happiness. Simultaneously though, it also alleviates anxiety, panic attacks, nervous tension and depression which all can happen before, during and after a date for a variety of reasons, which I could name plenty but that’s another blog I think.

If the date is “Going Off” this product is also great for partying, dancing, deep intimate connections, social events, mood elevation, cuddles and fun. Pretty awesome outcome from a blind date really!

Thought I’d also make mention of the Urinary (Infections) Spagyric that we have on offer as UTI’s are a very common thing that people experience when they hook up and things get hot and steamy. It comes with the contract every single time for some but it can be treated easily with the amazing herbs in this product which are used for their antibiotic, anti-inflammatory and antiseptic qualities. The product includes herbs like Uva Ursi, Echinacea, Cranberry, Slippery Elm and Juniper, which are all great for UTIs. The stinging reminder of a romp in the hay won’t last long when dosed up on this baby!! Also a great daily dose of Pau D’arco for UTIs is a great remedy and treatment.

So yeah, dating can be gruesome and exhausting and very fickle but if you are relaxed and feeling all sexy and loved up, even if it doesn’t work out with the date, the herbs won’t be wasted as you can go home and have an unforgettable evening with yourself! Ooooooh baby!

Yours in love and sexual frustration,
Lainie Chait
PHD in Bad Dates (ology)


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